daygan rocks the world

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Arguments with Chinese people actually happen for me much more often that I would like. Perhaps partly it's because of some language barrier, and also because of the fact that I just haven't gotten used to the way some Chinese people communicate, and may never get used to it or like it at all. In any case, below is a very quickly written up explanation of how arguments often happen for me here in China:

so.. here's what happens.. I start out slightly peeved, or maybe just a little upset, and then the other guy starts saying something that makes absolutely no sense, and I tell him it makes no sense, but he continues to repeat it over and over; the more he repeats it, the more upset i get that he's being so freaking retarded and not listening to what I'm saying, and then by the time he's given up on that pointless conquest of his, he moves on to the issue at hand, but by the time we're at the real issue, he's already yelling because i've been continually getting upset about how stupid he was being, which only makes me yell more.. and he thinks at this point that i'm yelling because i disagree with him, but really it's only because he's yelling at me.. so the more this goes on, the more he thinks i won't agree with what he's going to propose, which only prompts him to pose his statements and questions in ways that are just rude and unkind, compounding on his perception of conflict. The truth is, if he would just chill out and tell me frankly what the situation is in direct and honest terms, and not make assumptions that what I'm saying is against him, we would be able to come to a mutual understanding and resolve our issues.

Today, this is what happened: I walk into a store where i previously bought a coffee grinder which is now broken. I show it to him, and ask him to fix it. He tells me to contact my "wife" who was the one that spoke with him about buying it. I tell him she's not my wife, she's my girlfriend. He corrects him self, in a somewhat annoyed manner, and continues to tell me i have to contact her. I say - why should I contact her? This item was bought by my store, and I'm here about it. What does this have to do with her? This is between you and me, because this is my coffee grinder. He continues to tell me to contact her about it and tell her about the issue because she was the one that evidently "spoke to him" when we bought it.. The more he insists on me contacting her without giving me a real reason, the angrier I get, because it just seems to me as though he's skipping over me and wants to only talk with her and have nothing to do with me at all. Why would that be? Why can't he just talk to me directly about the machine? Why does he have to go around me and talk to my girlfriend? Am I not a person to? Am I not the owner of the café? How rude that I'm right here in front of him and he doesn't even want to talk to me and tells me that I have to call my girlfriend! She doesn't even know anything about this and doesn't need to - it's not at though she's my boss in regards to how the coffee house runs!

So, anyway, this goes on for a while, and the more it goes on the more annoyed I get.. finally he lets out that it's because he told her that they don't cover repairs for the machine because we bought it at a cheaper price.. and then he goes back to telling me i need to contact her. Well, that's great to finally know what his strange reasoning was for not talking to me directly, but 1. couldn't he have just said that upfront? and 2. why do I still need to contact her now? you've explained to me what your issue is. .. and 3. I really don't care, I just want you to fix it! so.. already, the yelling volume is up, so I'm sure when I tell him next that I just want him to fix it, he interprets it as disagreement, when really, what I mean, and it would have been understood just fine if the idiot hadn't instisted over and over from the beginning that I needed to go running to my girlfriend about this issue, is that I understand that he doesn't cover repairs, but surely he can repair it, and i can pay for whatever the repair costs might be. He doesn't get that, and I keep telling him to just freaking fix it for me, and then he comes out with this "the way you talk really makes people uncomfortable" which is a Chinese way of saying that they think you speak rudely.. when, really, dude, I think you come out with some pretty ridiculous demands and refusing to speak to me directly and interpreting every single sentence that I say into some twisted insult is pretty rude too. And pretty much I don't think it's all my fault, it's just sort of "snowballed" into this, and now he's starting to fling insults, just because the man wouldn't listen to me from the beginning and insisted on talking to my girlfriend.

Well, that's the jist of it. Today's little Chinese-Western argument. Honestly, sometimes, some Chinese people are just impossible to communicate with.